untitled

I've tried to deny that the gray
makes me unhappy and tired
but it does
so

Perhaps I'll start running again
to remember and forget
at the same time
who I am and who I wish I was
and the fact that you're not around

but I don't know.

Maybe I'll go home for a while
to feel the only concrete love I've ever known

or perhaps
I could drive to my brother's
and dance in the flashing dark
We'll pretend we're Russian
and dance in the clouds.

I wish you understood.

I'm not expecting to come back
and be fine again
but truthfully (or selfishly in your mind)
I'm just looking to be a necessity
to someone's existence.

emilio

drawing by rachel

it's scootin time

bebette

playing hooky

Moose

Alyssa Peterson

http://www.thenation.com/blog/154649/soldier-who-committed-suicide-after-she-refused-take-part-torture

http://www.congress.org/news/2009/11/25/rising_military_suicides

Do you know how close I am?
Do you know how close I am?

Do you know how much I
Do you know how much I could
Do you know how much I would

Do you
Do you really

I don't think you realize
I don't think you realize

how close I am
how close I am

I have tried
I am trying
I might
I might

hurry
hu
r
r y

Saturday?