there's a new man in my life

Unfortunately, he's taken.

then you put your hand on my shoulder

and in a flash you were gone
your shoes hardly on
an inaudible goodbye
stumbled out of my mouth
so typical of you
i'm glad you came by

Validation

My feelings are valid
so I don't want to cry anymore
because I can't explain to you
with concrete facts
written by scholars
or people "above" me
who are supposedly
more knowledgeable
who can supposedly
be trusted
as if you can't trust
that what I'm saying
is real and important
or valid
you easily believe them
because of some label bestowed upon their name
if why I feel this way
is so fucking confusing to you
because my name isn't written in some
book or journal
how would I ever get through to you
the only thing you need to know
is what I'm telling you
believe in me
because I'm speaking with my heart
get out of your head
shove those papers up your ass
I'm done saying sorry.
but I might still cry.

1. Live for happiness now.
2. Stay up late.
3. Wake up early.
4. Take naps.
5. Do things you think you shouldn't.
6. Have no regrets.
7. Learn from every experience.
8. Hug your friends.
9. And kiss them too.
10. Be bold.

untitled

I've tried to deny that the gray
makes me unhappy and tired
but it does
so

Perhaps I'll start running again
to remember and forget
at the same time
who I am and who I wish I was
and the fact that you're not around

but I don't know.

Maybe I'll go home for a while
to feel the only concrete love I've ever known

or perhaps
I could drive to my brother's
and dance in the flashing dark
We'll pretend we're Russian
and dance in the clouds.

I wish you understood.

I'm not expecting to come back
and be fine again
but truthfully (or selfishly in your mind)
I'm just looking to be a necessity
to someone's existence.

emilio

drawing by rachel

it's scootin time

bebette